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How do you deal with difficult children?

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How do you deal with difficult children?

  • johnnymc
    Participant

    Hi,

    I had a family in my studio recently (husband, wife and two kids which were 5 years and two years old), and it was a difficult sitting.

    Whatever I tried to cajole the kids into doing, it just didn’t happen. Posing for a family portrait was a nightmare! The 5 year old just threw himself about with a very disinterested frown and basically had a dark cloud hanging over his head for the entire time. Any efforts to draw a smile from him resulted in a OTT fake smile which his parents gave out to him over (which didn’t help the mood for the remainder of the sitting). The two year old refused to have her photo taken unless her brother sat beside her (which he wasn’t inclined to do), and no amount of lollypops/toys/promises from Mommy and Daddy to buy treats in the shop afterwards worked.

    I have three kids myself (ranging from 8 years down to 18 months) and feel I can relate to young ones very well. In particular, doing school/communion or confirmation portraits, I have received positive feedback at all times from teachers and parents with regards to my liaising with the children. I’ve often been able to turn situations around in the studio also and get good results….but I was stumped with this family!

    How would you deal with this situation?

    Regards,

    John

    damiend
    Participant

    simple tell them its not working and rearrange another sitting. no biggy

    MMX
    Participant

    Umm… give them some drugs? :D

    brightredshoes
    Participant

    Hard to say exactly cause each kid is different, and thats kinda the point. At those age groups, I’d prefer to shoot them in their home or out and about in favourite park or playground if possible. But there’s a few tactics I’ve tried and used successfully in the past….

    Ignore the kid, talk to the parents, dont try to get him to do anything, just try and focus with the parents on having fun. Children hate being isolated and excluded from anything fun, so you might find that if he’s left to his own devices while mum and dad and baby sister seem to be having a great time, in no time at all he’ll want to join in. (Its a bit like angry dogs in a way, dont make eye contact at all until he comes to you). My preferred tactic is to leave the camera in the bag until they’ve come round.

    Of course if he’s trying to climb up the lightstand and get inside the softox that might not be such a great option.

    Magic. This works best for kids who are camera shy rather than just plain difficult. I sometimes show the kid a ‘magic’ box or piece of gaffer tape or something, telling them there’s something magic like, ‘I bet you cant stand on that piece of tape without falling over. The minute you try this, you’re establishing a game with them thats got nothing to do with the photo session, and most kids are more than willing to jump straight into imaginary worlds, especially if its a challange.

    Five can be a tricky age. I’d look closely at how the parents are interacting withi him, and make sure to have a word in private with them in advance so they know what to expect. I always tell parents, NEVER to tell the kids to smile and leave the direction up to me. If a parent is particulary interfering, I give them a job to do like holding a reflector or something to get them out from behind the lens and out of the way. Most kids will take their que from their parents if the kid isnt responding as I would expect I always turn and take a close look at mummy and daddy, usually, they are the real cause of the problem. If I start to focus my attention on them, I can usually notice that maybe one of them is as pissed off as the kid is, and I work on them, (Maybe daddy really doesnt want to be here either, or mummy is teribly self conscous of how shes’ going to look in a photo, whatever the reason, I try to put the camera down and deal with that first) then I use the exact same approach on the kid.

    Lastly, with boys expecially, the old chimping screen at the back of the camera can work wonders, and promising to let them have a go at taking a few photos themselves, ‘but lets do this first’…

    Sometimes, “now whatever you do dont smile” can bring out a cheeky grin, there is nothing funnier than surpressed laughter.
    Make sure you talk to the parents and let them know you know what you are doing and your not just panicing and trying anything to get it over with.

    Failing that, If it really wasnt working, I’d cancel the shoot and try to rearrange another time. I’d rather the parents know that I’m willing to work around them to get what they want then settle for a less than perfect experience. Last thing I want is for the parents to walk away from a shoot thnking ‘well I’m never doing that again!’

    – Tom

    – Tom

    johnnymc
    Participant

    Thanks for all that information Tom, I appreciate it. Think I’ll go out and try and find some kind of Paul Daniels magic set!!

    I know that in a worse case scenario, a re-shoot is always another option, but for a lot of families (mums in particular), they get their hair done and get themselves looking really smart and put a lot of effort into the shoot…..so it can be a deflating experience for them to go through it again if it doesn’t work first time.

    Thanks again for all the information Tom,

    Regards,

    John

    PhotoSligo
    Member

    Hi,
    I have something like this on communion! No way for reshot.
    Boy was just throwing himself all over, jumping, running, finaly when we agree pose he start making a funy faces. Was a nightmare and he has a brother which help him to ruin my photos:)
    Mother can not doing anything about it. And my english is not to good for dealing with this situation, but finaly i get idea to put him for while in other side of camera and it works! I show him how hard it is take a good picture when im running. We play like that for while and after he agree to pose for few shots.
    regards,
    Darek

    adrianmatthews
    Participant

    Been on the opposite end, had some photos professionally taken…..

    The photographer let the kids mess for 2/3 rds the session then got down to the family shots….
    Got some great character shots of the kids.

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